*News Flash**H.C Official Statement*

Suggestions of a “massive bust-up” between Manager Max Suff and non-runner in the Cotswold Relay, Steve Herington have been greatly exaggerated said a Club spokesperson today. 
“It’s absolutely not the case that there was a physical confrontation in the Barrels on Friday, with a pint of Dorothy Goodbody used to cool Mr Suff down. Mr Suff is a passionate man and only wants the best for the Club. He attempted to persuade Herington to run in moderately forceful terms relying soley on reason, emotional levers and what have been described as ‘fortified’ pints of Butty [charged to Herington’s tab.] Herington for his part claims that he let Suff know of his unavailability well before tweeting the information to his enormous fan base.
‘ It’s just a bit galling that this athlete chose to do his own thing in Wales at the very time when his services were required this side of the border,’ complained Suff. Asked whether Herington would remain on his Christmas Card list, Suff confirmed that while a card was unlikely, the athlete might well receive a number of unscheduled visits from doping control agencies over the festive period – and before.
Towelling down after his run on the Coity on Saturday, Herington puzzled a hastily arranged press conference by asserting that ‘a tendon cannot be stretched in two directions at once. A kipper cannot be unsmoked.’ “
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